Jokes for March 2017

**Polaraco** · 03-03-2017

I talked to a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way.
He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym and the library. I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage."

I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?"

"Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "No, no.... I was paroled."

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**HKBIGDADDYDIESELDAN** · 03-03-2017

Originally Posted by Polaraco

I talked to a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way.
He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym and the library. I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage."

I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?"

"Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "No, no.... I was paroled."

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**AnOldBiker** · 03-04-2017

While being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial, the lawyer tried to undermine his credibility by asking some round about questions to trip him up. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work out so well…

Q: “Officer — did you see my client fleeing the scene?”
A: “No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.”

Q: “Officer — who provided this description?”
A: “The officer who responded to the scene.”

Q: “A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?”
A: “Yes, sir. With my life.”

Q: “With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?”
A: “Yes sir, we do!”

Q: “And do you have a locker in the room?”
A: “Yes sir, I do.”

Q: “And do you have a lock on your locker?”
A: “Yes sir.”

Q: “Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?”
A: “You see, sir — we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.”

The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.

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**HKBIGDADDYDIESELDAN** · 03-04-2017

Originally Posted by AnOldBiker

While being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial, the lawyer tried to undermine his credibility by asking some round about questions to trip him up. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work out so well…

Q: “Officer — did you see my client fleeing the scene?”
A: “No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.”

Q: “Officer — who provided this description?”
A: “The officer who responded to the scene.”

Q: “A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?”
A: “Yes, sir. With my life.”

Q: “With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?”
A: “Yes sir, we do!”

Q: “And do you have a locker in the room?”
A: “Yes sir, I do.”

Q: “And do you have a lock on your locker?”
A: “Yes sir.”

Q: “Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?”
A: “You see, sir — we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.”

The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.

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