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Thread: DIVORCE SETTLEMENT Heh I wish I thought of this

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    Old & Grumpy! Polaraco's Avatar

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    DIVORCE SETTLEMENT Heh I wish I thought of this

    On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and
    suitcases.

    On the second day, he had the movers come to collect his things.

    On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful
    dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background music,
    and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

    When he'd finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a
    few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow center of the
    curtain rods.

    He then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

    On the fourth day, the wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first
    all was bliss.

    Then, slowly, the house began to smell.

    They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place.
    Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.

    Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set
    off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days,
    and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

    Nothing worked!

    People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the
    house. The maid quit.

    Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to
    move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half -
    they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.

    Word got out, and eventually even the local Realtors refused to return
    their calls.

    Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a
    huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

    Then the ex called the woman and asked how things were going. She
    told him the saga of the rotting house. He listened politely and said that
    he missed his old home terribly and would she be willing to reduce his
    divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.

    Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed
    on a price that was only 1/10th of what the house had been worth ... but
    only if he would sign the papers that very day.

    He agreed, and within two hours her lawyer delivered the completed
    paperwork.

    A week later the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched
    the moving company pack everything to take to their new home ... and just
    to spite the ex-husband, they even took the curtain rods !!!

    I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?


    2003- 3500 RWD Automatic.
    S & B intake, BD Intercooler, Pusher Air Horn, MM3 Double R Tuning, Turbo Timer, electric Flex-a-lite fans, FASS 95,
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    JOKER! F350Cummins's Avatar

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    LOL

    2014 Ram 2500 CCSB Ram Box Larime
    2011 Ram 5500
    2006 Diesel Jeep Liberty
    RIP. 2016 Tradesman 2500 picked up 9/28/16 MM3 DRD Tuning 107K miles wrecked by jeep wrangler.....


    Other Toys: 1973 Charger Bougham edition 400 big block 42K original miles
    Unicycles (about 3 dozen)


    6 in a row makes her go

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    fourteen's Avatar

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    Love it!! Awesome

    '06 3500 SRW LWB
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    Cat. Removed
    Wallet Empty
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