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Thread: Jokes DECEMBER 2017

  1. Top Of Page | #21
    MRMAYHEM's Avatar

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    Re: Jokes DECEMBER 2017




    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


    2012 Dodge 2500 6 inch suspension lift 4 inch body lift sitting on 41's DPF delete Straight pipe turbo back twin stacks road armour front and rear bumpers mini max tuner...tuned by DOUBLE R DIESEL

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  3. Top Of Page | #22
    Old... But Still Here! AnOldBiker's Avatar

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    Re: Jokes DECEMBER 2017

    @MRMAYHEM Sorry buddy .. it didn't come thru ........



    Jim


    2006 ~ 2500HD, Big Horn Edition, 5.9, 4x4, Q/Cab, 48RE, L/B, 3.73, S&B CAI & Snout, ProFlo 5" S/S exhaust, Smarty Touch, Oil ByPass Kit, 60 gal main tank, 110 gallon in-bed tank, XX-Fuel Filter System, Coolant Bypass Kit, Mag-Hytec front & rear end covers and trans pan, 285 x 70 x 17

    "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States, where men 'were' free." ~ Ronald Regan

  4. Top Of Page | #23
    Old & Grumpy! Polaraco's Avatar

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    Re: Jokes DECEMBER 2017

    Quote Originally Posted by AnOldBiker View Post
    The seven stages of life:
    (oh so true)


    1 day - 5 yrs: We experience many spills.

    6 yrs - 16 yrs: We pick up many skills .

    17 - 20 yrs: We undergo many drills.

    21 - 25 yrs: We discover many thrills.

    26 - 40 yrs: We have to pay many bills.

    41 - 60 yrs: We suffer many ills.

    61 - 75 yrs: We have to take many pills.

    76 yrs and more: We worry about our wills.
    amen


    2003- 3500 RWD Automatic.
    S & B intake, BD Intercooler, Pusher Air Horn, MM3 Double R Tuning, Turbo Timer, electric Flex-a-lite fans, FASS 95,
    50 HP tips, upgrade to 351 turbo, 3.42 gears, Twin air compressors, air bags, Remote dual oil filters, Hellwig sway bar, Front Winch. Home made Fuel Heater, BD Exhaust brake with Torque Lock. Tons of TLC

  5. Top Of Page | #24
    Old... But Still Here! AnOldBiker's Avatar

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    Re: Jokes DECEMBER 2017

    amounts by regions ...





    Jim


    2006 ~ 2500HD, Big Horn Edition, 5.9, 4x4, Q/Cab, 48RE, L/B, 3.73, S&B CAI & Snout, ProFlo 5" S/S exhaust, Smarty Touch, Oil ByPass Kit, 60 gal main tank, 110 gallon in-bed tank, XX-Fuel Filter System, Coolant Bypass Kit, Mag-Hytec front & rear end covers and trans pan, 285 x 70 x 17

    "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States, where men 'were' free." ~ Ronald Regan

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  7. Top Of Page | #25
    MOD watersupply189's Avatar

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    Re: Jokes DECEMBER 2017

    Quote Originally Posted by AnOldBiker View Post
    amounts by regions ...

    Lmao


    2016 Ram 3500 4x4 Laramie Cummins, G56, Rough Country Leveling, MM3 EGRless Tuned by Double R Diesel

    2016 RAM 3500 4x4 Laramie Crew Cab
    Cummins,G56, Rough Country level, Morimoto LED fog lights, LED headlights, Lund Attitude Steps sprayed with Line-X, DRL's Activated, 35x12.50R18 Falken Wildpeak ATW3, Fuel Vapor Wheels Matte Black w/Dark Tint, A.R.E. Truck cap and swing boxes

  8. Top Of Page | #26
    Old & Grumpy! Polaraco's Avatar

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    Re: Jokes DECEMBER 2017

    Quote Originally Posted by AnOldBiker View Post
    amounts by regions ...

    That's about right for the east coast. They didn't say anything about the run on the supermarkets in flurries.


    2003- 3500 RWD Automatic.
    S & B intake, BD Intercooler, Pusher Air Horn, MM3 Double R Tuning, Turbo Timer, electric Flex-a-lite fans, FASS 95,
    50 HP tips, upgrade to 351 turbo, 3.42 gears, Twin air compressors, air bags, Remote dual oil filters, Hellwig sway bar, Front Winch. Home made Fuel Heater, BD Exhaust brake with Torque Lock. Tons of TLC

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  10. Top Of Page | #27
    Old... But Still Here! AnOldBiker's Avatar

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    Re: Jokes DECEMBER 2017

    This is the Unofficial World Wide Activities Thermometer, based on stereotypes and geographical generalizations by temperature.

    Air Temperatures: (Farenheit)

    60 degrees - Californians put their sweaters on.

    50 degrees - Miami residents turn on the heat.

    45 degrees - Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.

    40 degrees - You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming.

    35 degrees - Italians cars don't start.

    32 degrees - Water freezes.

    30 degrees - You plan your vacation in Australia.

    25 degrees - Ohio water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming.

    20 degrees - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation farther south.

    15 degrees - French cars don't start, cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.

    10 degrees - You need jumper cables to get the car going.

    5 degrees - American cars don't start.

    0 degrees - Alaskans put on T-shirts.

    -10 degrees - German cars don't start, eyes freeze shut when you step outside.

    -15 degrees - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects, Miami residents cease to exist.

    -20 degrees - Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you, politicians actually do something about the homeless, Minnesotans shovel snow off roof, Japanese cars don't start.

    -25 degrees - Too cold to think, you need jumper cables to get the driver going.

    -30 degrees - You plan a two week hot bath, Swedish cars don't start.

    -40 degrees - Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button, Canadians put on sweater, your car helps you plan your trip South.

    -50 degrees - Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the bathroom window.

    -80 degrees - Polar bears move South, Green Bay Packer (and Buffalo Bills) fans order hot cocoa at the game.

    -90 degrees - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.

    -100 degrees - Hell freezes over, Clinton finally tells all.
    (and @Polaraco orders HOT coffee instead of coffee.)




    Jim


    2006 ~ 2500HD, Big Horn Edition, 5.9, 4x4, Q/Cab, 48RE, L/B, 3.73, S&B CAI & Snout, ProFlo 5" S/S exhaust, Smarty Touch, Oil ByPass Kit, 60 gal main tank, 110 gallon in-bed tank, XX-Fuel Filter System, Coolant Bypass Kit, Mag-Hytec front & rear end covers and trans pan, 285 x 70 x 17

    "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States, where men 'were' free." ~ Ronald Regan

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  12. Top Of Page | #28
    HKBIGDADDYDIESELDAN's Avatar

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    Re: Jokes DECEMBER 2017

    Quote Originally Posted by AnOldBiker View Post
    amounts by regions ...

    Ha ha ha funny one

    2012 Cummins Ram 6.7L MM3 tuner full 5" Flo Pro TBE Exhaust LWBCC 4x4 Mag Hytec Double Deep Transmission Pan , Mag Hytec Rear Diff Cover
    Airlift part # 57595 7500lbs airbags ,Nitto Ridge Grapplers 35/12.50/20 on XD 829 Big Hoss ll Satin Black Machined Dark Tint 20 x 9 with + 18 offset rims,MM3 Tuner With full Custom Tunes by Ray at DRD , Autometer A13117 Pillar Pod , Edge 98004 mount adapter , Mag Hytec front diff cover, SuperNova V4 LED Headlight Bulbs

  13. Top Of Page | #29
    HKBIGDADDYDIESELDAN's Avatar

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    Re: Jokes DECEMBER 2017

    Quote Originally Posted by AnOldBiker View Post
    This is the Unofficial World Wide Activities Thermometer, based on stereotypes and geographical generalizations by temperature.

    Air Temperatures: (Farenheit)

    60 degrees - Californians put their sweaters on.

    50 degrees - Miami residents turn on the heat.

    45 degrees - Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.

    40 degrees - You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming.

    35 degrees - Italians cars don't start.

    32 degrees - Water freezes.

    30 degrees - You plan your vacation in Australia.

    25 degrees - Ohio water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming.

    20 degrees - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation farther south.

    15 degrees - French cars don't start, cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.

    10 degrees - You need jumper cables to get the car going.

    5 degrees - American cars don't start.

    0 degrees - Alaskans put on T-shirts.

    -10 degrees - German cars don't start, eyes freeze shut when you step outside.

    -15 degrees - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects, Miami residents cease to exist.

    -20 degrees - Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you, politicians actually do something about the homeless, Minnesotans shovel snow off roof, Japanese cars don't start.

    -25 degrees - Too cold to think, you need jumper cables to get the driver going.

    -30 degrees - You plan a two week hot bath, Swedish cars don't start.

    -40 degrees - Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button, Canadians put on sweater, your car helps you plan your trip South.

    -50 degrees - Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the bathroom window.

    -80 degrees - Polar bears move South, Green Bay Packer (and Buffalo Bills) fans order hot cocoa at the game.

    -90 degrees - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.

    -100 degrees - Hell freezes over, Clinton finally tells all.
    (and @Polaraco orders HOT coffee instead of coffee.)
    Another good one funny

    2012 Cummins Ram 6.7L MM3 tuner full 5" Flo Pro TBE Exhaust LWBCC 4x4 Mag Hytec Double Deep Transmission Pan , Mag Hytec Rear Diff Cover
    Airlift part # 57595 7500lbs airbags ,Nitto Ridge Grapplers 35/12.50/20 on XD 829 Big Hoss ll Satin Black Machined Dark Tint 20 x 9 with + 18 offset rims,MM3 Tuner With full Custom Tunes by Ray at DRD , Autometer A13117 Pillar Pod , Edge 98004 mount adapter , Mag Hytec front diff cover, SuperNova V4 LED Headlight Bulbs

  14. Top Of Page | #30
    Old & Grumpy! Polaraco's Avatar

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    Re: Jokes DECEMBER 2017

    On a bitterly cold winter morning Jim and wife in Manitowoc were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say,

    "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snow plows can get through." So the good wife went out and moved her car.

    A week later, while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snow plows can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.

    The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snow plows can get through?"

    Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the AnOldBiker replied,

    "Why don't you just leave the car in the garage this time."


    2003- 3500 RWD Automatic.
    S & B intake, BD Intercooler, Pusher Air Horn, MM3 Double R Tuning, Turbo Timer, electric Flex-a-lite fans, FASS 95,
    50 HP tips, upgrade to 351 turbo, 3.42 gears, Twin air compressors, air bags, Remote dual oil filters, Hellwig sway bar, Front Winch. Home made Fuel Heater, BD Exhaust brake with Torque Lock. Tons of TLC

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