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Thread: JOKES January 2018 Happy New Year

  1. Top Of Page | #31
    Old... But Still Here! AnOldBiker's Avatar

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    Re: JOKES January 2018 Happy New Year

    Quote Originally Posted by .44mag View Post




    Exactly ......





    Jim


    2006 ~ 2500HD, Big Horn Edition, 5.9, 4x4, Q/Cab, 48RE, L/B, 3.73, S&B CAI & Snout, ProFlo 5" S/S exhaust, Smarty Touch, Oil ByPass Kit, 60 gal main tank, 110 gallon in-bed tank, XX-Fuel Filter System, Coolant Bypass Kit, Mag-Hytec front & rear end covers and trans pan, 285 x 70 x 17

    "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States, where men 'were' free." ~ Ronald Regan

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  3. Top Of Page | #32
    4kids2dogs&RV's Avatar

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    Re: JOKES January 2018 Happy New Year

    Quote Originally Posted by .44mag View Post
    Need more if these guys in Congress

    Sent from my VS988 using Tapatalk


    2011 2500 Laramie CCSB 4x4, 6.7L Cummins, 68RFE

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  5. Top Of Page | #33
    Basic Member .44mag's Avatar

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    Re: JOKES January 2018 Happy New Year

    Quote Originally Posted by 4kids2dogs&RV View Post
    Need more if these guys in Congress

    Sent from my VS988 using Tapatalk

    Speaking of congress, did you know that a large group of baboons is called a CONGRESS.
    Explains a lot doesn't it?


  6. Top Of Page | #34
    Old... But Still Here! AnOldBiker's Avatar

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    Re: JOKES January 2018 Happy New Year

    A soldier ran up to a nun.
    Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."
    The nun agreed... A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?" The nun replied, "He went that way."
    After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough, sister. You see, I don't want to go to Syria."
    The nun said, "I understand completely." The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
    The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls…. I don't want to go to Syria either."



    Jim


    2006 ~ 2500HD, Big Horn Edition, 5.9, 4x4, Q/Cab, 48RE, L/B, 3.73, S&B CAI & Snout, ProFlo 5" S/S exhaust, Smarty Touch, Oil ByPass Kit, 60 gal main tank, 110 gallon in-bed tank, XX-Fuel Filter System, Coolant Bypass Kit, Mag-Hytec front & rear end covers and trans pan, 285 x 70 x 17

    "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States, where men 'were' free." ~ Ronald Regan

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  8. Top Of Page | #35
    Old & Grumpy! Polaraco's Avatar

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    Re: JOKES January 2018 Happy New Year

    Quote Originally Posted by AnOldBiker View Post
    A soldier ran up to a nun.
    Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."
    The nun agreed... A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?" The nun replied, "He went that way."
    After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough, sister. You see, I don't want to go to Syria."
    The nun said, "I understand completely." The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
    The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls…. I don't want to go to Syria either."
    Oh Brother. . . . .


    2003- 3500 RWD Automatic.
    S & B intake, BD Intercooler, Pusher Air Horn, MM3 Double R Tuning, Turbo Timer, electric Flex-a-lite fans, FASS 95,
    50 HP tips, upgrade to 351 turbo, 3.42 gears, Twin air compressors, air bags, Remote dual oil filters, Hellwig sway bar, Front Winch. Home made Fuel Heater, BD Exhaust brake with Torque Lock. Tons of TLC

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  10. Top Of Page | #36
    Old... But Still Here! AnOldBiker's Avatar

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    Re: JOKES January 2018 Happy New Year

    @Polaraco ... it's getting towards the end of the month and hard to find something. It's not easy trying to find something we haven't published before ... we've had to go through several hundred so far ....



    Now if we threw in political ... we'd have millions more ... but we really don't want to go there ...



    Jim


    2006 ~ 2500HD, Big Horn Edition, 5.9, 4x4, Q/Cab, 48RE, L/B, 3.73, S&B CAI & Snout, ProFlo 5" S/S exhaust, Smarty Touch, Oil ByPass Kit, 60 gal main tank, 110 gallon in-bed tank, XX-Fuel Filter System, Coolant Bypass Kit, Mag-Hytec front & rear end covers and trans pan, 285 x 70 x 17

    "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States, where men 'were' free." ~ Ronald Regan

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  12. Top Of Page | #37
    Old... But Still Here! AnOldBiker's Avatar

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    Re: JOKES January 2018 Happy New Year

    I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

    When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

    Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

    America is a country, which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.

    You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone?
    That's your common sense leaving your body.

    Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

    My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.

    You're not fat, you're just easier to see.

    If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

    I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"

    I can't understand why women are OK that J. C. Penny has an older women's clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."

    My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations.

    I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.


    Denny's has a slogan, "If it's your birthday, the meal is on us."
    If you're in Denny's and it's your birthday, your life sucks!



    Jim


    2006 ~ 2500HD, Big Horn Edition, 5.9, 4x4, Q/Cab, 48RE, L/B, 3.73, S&B CAI & Snout, ProFlo 5" S/S exhaust, Smarty Touch, Oil ByPass Kit, 60 gal main tank, 110 gallon in-bed tank, XX-Fuel Filter System, Coolant Bypass Kit, Mag-Hytec front & rear end covers and trans pan, 285 x 70 x 17

    "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States, where men 'were' free." ~ Ronald Regan

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  14. Top Of Page | #38
    Basic Member .44mag's Avatar

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    Re: JOKES January 2018 Happy New Year

    Pooping for an average of ten minutes each work day equals forty hours of paid vacation each year.


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  16. Top Of Page | #39
    Old... But Still Here! AnOldBiker's Avatar

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    Jim


    2006 ~ 2500HD, Big Horn Edition, 5.9, 4x4, Q/Cab, 48RE, L/B, 3.73, S&B CAI & Snout, ProFlo 5" S/S exhaust, Smarty Touch, Oil ByPass Kit, 60 gal main tank, 110 gallon in-bed tank, XX-Fuel Filter System, Coolant Bypass Kit, Mag-Hytec front & rear end covers and trans pan, 285 x 70 x 17

    "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States, where men 'were' free." ~ Ronald Regan

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  18. Top Of Page | #40
    HKBIGDADDYDIESELDAN's Avatar

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    Re: JOKES January 2018 Happy New Year

    Quote Originally Posted by AnOldBiker View Post
    A soldier ran up to a nun.
    Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."
    The nun agreed... A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?" The nun replied, "He went that way."
    After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough, sister. You see, I don't want to go to Syria."
    The nun said, "I understand completely." The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
    The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls…. I don't want to go to Syria either."
    Ha ha

    2012 Cummins Ram 6.7L MM3 tuner full 5" Flo Pro TBE Exhaust LWBCC 4x4 Mag Hytec Double Deep Transmission Pan , Mag Hytec Rear Diff Cover
    Airlift part # 57595 7500lbs airbags ,Nitto Ridge Grapplers 35/12.50/20 on XD 829 Big Hoss ll Satin Black Machined Dark Tint 20 x 9 with + 18 offset rims,MM3 Tuner With full Custom Tunes by Ray at DRD , Autometer A13117 Pillar Pod , Edge 98004 mount adapter , Mag Hytec front diff cover, SuperNova V4 LED Headlight Bulbs

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